MOOD- apathetic

Well, it's all most Halloween and the parties are great. Went to two this weekend and had a blast. It's getting into late fall and I'm loving the weather. I'm going up for the paramedic state test in a week and am not looking forward to it. I don't know why but have really lost my enthusiasm for ems lately. It seems that most of my old friends in the biz have become arrogant pricks. So full of themselves that they are no fun anymore. Sucks man, when people that you thought you knew just seem to have such disdain for so many people, bitter contempt for the right of people to be stupid and make mistakes, even normal non-ems people. Everything has to be critiqued to the fullest extent. Man, just fucking leave it will you. Yes, he's drunk, and yes, he fell off the roof, What ? Like you never did anything that stupid! Bullshit! I am so sick of fucking hypocrite's, and it seems that nothing has changed. I was so over those type of assholes when I left ems the first time. I thought maybe it would have gotten better.

Maybe its cause the job hunt in the field is getting old. I have applied almost everywhere in the area and had little success. Most places want experience, but how do you get the experience as a medic if no one will hire without it. humpt. I have caught myself looking a trucking job sites and having moments of brief interest.

but the job just eats away at me as being pedestrian, just so boring. And I have such a snob side telling me that I'm too good for that and to just be content. On the other hand, I really miss the moving and the driving. I miss being in Florida one day and Texas the next. I really like operating the truck and being on the road. I just think I will always see the grass as greener on the other side. I love to start new projects, work them till they have lost the newness, and then move on. For all their flaws, truck drivers are real people and most of them are too busy working to be concerned with the flaws of the rest of the people on the planet, Except for bad drivers. I have heard hour long conversations about how bad this or that person was. lol.



I decided that if I haven't gotten hired in a ems position by late spring of 07, I'm going back on the road. I have even placed some apps for an emt posistion, but if it doesn't pan out by then I'm gone. If I can't break back into ems by then, I'll let it rest for a while and try to push my other career path for a bit. Maybe after a season on the road things will change. It's not like I'm really missing anything here. Everybody is busy with life to hang anymore and I have found that I'd rather be at home online than out at the bar or anywhere for the matter.

Right now the only real enjoyment I get is from my scuba diving. Which I love more everything I go. I have another trip planned this weekend to devils den is Gainesville. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm really tired right now and its been a long weekend.
I'm going to just relax and try to let my self go with the flow. I'm just getting bitchy and not helping anything. Maybe tomorrow will be better.


sungod357