I am a bear of very little brain, and big words bother me.

I find great comfort in that silly line. These last few days, weeks, month's...Man. man'o'man'o'man, where the fuck do I begin. It's like riding my bike backwards at 90 mph while trying to masturbate with the wrong hand...Could be fun for a while, but soon than later its gonna be messy. The days have all run into a kinda of sterile pine scented blur. I'm sleeping better though, but it wont last. Weird dreams. Last night I dreamt That I watched a little girl try to jump a ramp with her bike, She hit the ground hard and went unconscious. I then used opened my cheesebuger to call 911, the numbers on my phone where in the cheese, but I couldn't hear the operator, so I put the slice of cheese to my ear and grave her the directions, then threw it away. It kinda figures that I wouldn't get good service when making a call on a cheeseburger, but that's life.

Spent wendsday fishing with tony, caught a couple of trout, fed one two a pelican and let the other go. We smoked and chatted on the dock till dark, then met with jen and ate. Ended up at my place sitting by a fire getting drunk and talkin shit. Good times. Woke up and felt guilty for having such a good day. Really bummed out. I don't know why I get that way, Had I stayed home and not done shit, would have felt fine. Strange. Hard for me to justify having any real fun, and I have to or I' really get bent out shape about it. Not that I'm missing out on studying or doing anything productive, I could have really sat on my ass and felt better about myself than I did this morning. Felt like I was wasting time, But I spent it better that day then most days. Anyway, I was still a good day. Most of my fun Is derived from cleaning my guns and drinking with my class mates after class.. Much more in the mood to sit and listen to whatever anyone has to say. Been trying to go for a ride but shit keeps getting in the way mostly been pussing out cause of the temp, it drops to the 50s at night and I'm to old and tired to enjoy ridding in that kind of weather. Give me 80s at night and they'll never see me at home. The bike is riding great. Rather pleased bout that. Thank the great greasy gonads of god that this fusion school thing is all most over. Any longer and I'm driving a roofing nail through my skull. Flat end first. I moving to the hundred acre wood and putting up a great big fence with razor wire on it and a sign that says " Heavily armed, poorly medicated, Paranoid Bi-polar alcoholic ahead! Approach at own risk!" maybe that will help. Well this has been a great rant. If you want to hear more , don't worry, I'll be coming to an ambulance service near you real soon.


sungod